My name is Elise Johnson and I am a sophomore at the University of Mobile. I wanted to take a little bit of time to talk about how I found my identity in Christ.
I won’t lie, it was a road filled with potholes, speed bumps, and a good amount of failure. When I was 17, my identity was based in myself; I thought I was the center of the universe. I was concerned with my outer appearance such as my hair, my makeup, my weight, how I looked in certain selfies, etc., I purposefully surrounded myself with people that would encourage this self-centered mindset.
November 9, 2017. That is the day everything in my life changed. On that day, I was in Children’s Hospital of Alabama receiving a cancer diagnosis. You can know that bad things will happen to you in life, but when the bad thing comes, it is almost impossible to believe.
When they told me I had Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, I remember this feeling of warmth and peace. It felt like someone had wrapped me in a heated blanket. I remember not being scared, but the exact opposite. I now realize that this was the Lord comforting me and reassuring me.
In only 14 days, I went from a girl whose value came from compliments, Instagram likes, and my outer shell to a girl sitting in a hospital bed with chemo coursing through my veins and her hair falling out.
I was immediately told that I would not be able to return to school due to not having enough white blood cells and the risk I was at for infection. So, I started homeschooling. This meant that I was aIone.
I believed that I was alone, but God reminded me of the truth: that He was with me.
This gave God and I the chance to talk. To really talk. We talked about everything during this time: my self-centered attitude, how I was going to go forward, and where my true identity lies.
After losing my hair, losing that group of friends, and not having the “look” society requires, I realized that the things of this world are not what I wanted to seek after anymore.
Having cancer was the means that the Lord used to show me that my identity is in Him and not in myself. I found my true identity in the Lord through cancer.