My name is Amy Goff and I have had the honor of attending University of Mobile for both my undergraduate and graduate degree. This is my story. I grew up in a very complicated home with parents who divorced very early on. My mom did all she could to make ends meet and raised 3 children on her own. My oldest brother Shaun, who was 9 years older than me, was born with a fatal illness called cystic fibrosis. He was constantly in the hospital and as a child, i adjusted time hospital life quiet easily. I knew the routine like the back of my hand. One day he was very ill. The next day he was being discharged and 100% better. My life was full of emotional roller coasters. I gave my heart to Jesus when i was 8 years old but I didn’t have a relationship with him at all. I struggled in school and never felt like i fit in. Sure, I had “friends” but no one knew what was truly going on. I buried myself in sports to try to earn favor and attention of my father (which I never received)... At the age of 9, i began experiencing depression, and it got worse after losing my oldest brother Shaun in 2012. Fast forward. I enrolled in nursing school at UM after realizing I knew my calling was to help people and minister to them where they are. Nursing school was a struggle but I began experiencing migraine headaches like I could not begin to express. I struggled daily. My balance and coordination was off and I knew something wasn’t right. April 2012 I went to the neurologist desperate for medication to keep the headaches at bay so I could continue to drown myself in my nursing textbooks. My doctor ordered an MRI and send me immediately downstairs for the test. After having the MRI, I left the doctors office and set home to study ... but I received a phone call that changed my life forever. The doctor called me back and told me I had something show up on my MRI and asked me if I could come back to the hospital and meet with a different physician. I had NO idea what awaited me. I walked into the doctors office scared and alone and met with what I later found out was a neurosurgeon. “Miss Goff, my name is Dr. Clarke and we need to talk. You have a brain tumor in your cerebellum that’s pressing on your nerves causing your symptoms and it needs to be removed immediately...” Excuse me? A tumor? Surgery!? I called my mother who immediately left work and met me at the doctor. I was scared and confused and began sinking into a deep dark place. Over the next two weeks I had multiple tests and scans to prep for surgery. Depression is a real thing and I felt like it was strangling me. I went into surgery on April 14, 2012 and had one simple prayer. “lord, please don’t let me wake up... I can’t do this” After a long 8 hour brain surgery, i was taken to recovery and then ICU... I woke up at 12:37AM the next day and was so angry that I didn’t wake up in Heaven. After all, I prayed for Him to LET ME die I’m surgery. I laid in my ICU room and sobbed. I got so upset and was so frustrated that the pressure in my head went sky high and I had a grand mal seizure. I struggled so much after surgery. I was paralyzed and had to learn how to walk again. I spent 41 days in an inpatient rehab learning all the basic skills I took for granted prior to surgery. I had setbacks. I had 5 more surgeries for emergency complications. I was unable to complete nursing school ... but through everything I experienced, I found something I wouldn’t trade for the world. I experienced God in that ICU room. He took my brokenness and suicidal thoughts and said “Daughter just trust me. I’m going to use this!” I had no other choice but to surrender, and that’s exactly what I did. Is it easy? NO! Most days I struggle, but my identity is not found in anything except my precious Jesus, who spared my life multiple times and met me right in the middle of my brokenness. I can say now, I am thankful for the brain tumor - for it allowed me a second chance at life. Spoiler alert: God so graciously uses my story of depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts to help others every single day. I now have my masters in Marriage and Family Therapy and helping others is my greatest accomplishment and sweetest joy. He truly does meet you right in the middle of the mess and chaos and showed me life saving GRACE. My name is Amy - and I am a brain tumor survivor.
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